


Can You Imagine

by captainofthefallen



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Aloth's confession, Defiance Bay riots, Gen, Happy Ending tho, I love him so much okay he needs a hug, I wrote this one to break madison's heart, broke my own in the process, he's just scared a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 15:58:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11854905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainofthefallen/pseuds/captainofthefallen
Summary: Aloth's confession during the riots in Defiance Bay. Title is taken from Hamilton.





	Can You Imagine

His heart is hammering against his ribcage and it has nothing to do with the riots they're just escaping from. The city is burning, people are dying in the streets, but the fear that's nearly paralyzing him is from another source entirely. 

He has to tell her. 

And gods, even thinking about it makes him feel sick. He has to tell her, but gods how can he? How can he look her in the eye and admit that he used to be one of them? That he _was_ one of them, until she found him? 

He feels like there's a void in his stomach, filled with nothing but overwhelming, sickening fear. He imagines the soft, even fond look with which she normally regards him twisting into one of disgust, of revulsion. He imagines her turning her back on him, and if he were less practiced at control he might break down at the very thought. 

If she leaves, if she rejects him... it may well be the death of him. 

But they're crossing the bridge out of Defiance Bay, and he hasn't told her, and he needs to just say something before he loses his nerve entirely. He needs to tell her, or the guilt might well destroy him. 

"Stop!" He has already done so, half turning back to look at the burning city, praying to anything that might be listening that she won't leave him. "I need to tell you something." 

She returns to his side with a teasing half-smile that he's almost certain she picked up from Edér. "Got another personality in there I need to know about?" 

He laughs a little, though it does nothing to alleviate the twisting of his insides. "Would that that were it." 

He was afraid he wouldn't be able to look her in the eye. Now he's more afraid that he can't look away. But she listens. 

She's shocked. Of course she is. But he's unashamedly begging now, begging her to let him stay, to let him follow her instead of Thaos, to right the wrongs he's surely done. Her face remains unreadable. 

Oh gods, what if she rejects him? A lance of hopelessness stabs directly through his insides, and he wilts. Without her... he has nothing. No allies. No friends. _Nothing_. 

She takes him by the shoulders and forces him to look at her, and her eyes are softer than he's ever seen them, and for a moment there's a flicker of hope in his withering heart. 

"I forgive you, Aloth," she says softly. He's about ready to weep from relief but she's not done. "But I want you beside me, not behind me. I'm not asking you to trade one master for another." 

He's frozen, face mostly blank as he tries to process what she's saying. Mostly he's just wondering what on Eora he did to deserve someone like her. 

She seems to read the struggle on his face, though, and she gives him a small smile before gently wrapping her arms around him. 

He stiffens automatically. He can't even remember the last time someone hugged him and meant it. He hugs her back awkwardly, wishing he could do more, but it's already taking all his willpower to keep from breaking down in front of everyone. 

They're going to be okay, he thinks. She doesn't hate him. She _forgives_ him. 

He'd forgotten what it felt like, to have someone care about him. But this... he'll die before he lets anything happen to her. It's the least he can do, after everything she's given him.


End file.
